Moving Forward.. Gently

Writing is my personal gauge. If I'm writing, then I'm doing okay. If I'm not writing, you can assume that either 1) I have dropped dead, or 2) I am completely overwhelmed, 3) There is a secret so vile I cannot discuss it, or 4) I've completely lost my mind. Numbers two and three explain my long absence from blogging. It's been a very trying year for our family, and it would have helped greatly if I could have written about it while it was all going on, but there is so much that could not be shared at the time.

I've had to create a whole new blog, and create an alias, both here and on social media. All due to a greater need for personal privacy. My kids will all have aliases, too. This is all happening at a time when life is headed for some major transitions, along with personal healing and transformation, so it's actually nice timing. No matter how twisted and difficult things seem in the moment, things always (and I mean ALWAYS, every single time) work out. I've been through enough to know things never remain difficult, which is one of the blessings of this world's only constant: Change.

I'm giddy about writing again. Writing is a dear friend from early childhood, and I've really missed her listening ear. She helps me to understand my life with more clarity. By putting the craziness of life's experiences into words, it's finally outside of myself and I can witness everything more easily from an objective standpoint. I don't know how people function without writing, if only a little each day. Along with meditation, tea, and cream pie, it's my therapy.

What do I hope to write about? Well, I want to stay focused on the present as much as possible, so I won't be reminiscing a lot about the past and what put the brakes on blogging. But I won't hesitate to explain some of it here and there, just so my present life makes sense. We recently went through an adoption disruption with a twelve year old son we raised for ten and a half years. It was a gut wrenching process (putting it mildly) and it effects my present state of mind and healing process. I'm working through post-traumatic stress, and other issues. We're also about to see our eighteen year old severely autistic son leave home for the first time- he's moving into a small group home about an hour away. Another wrench to my gut, but also very exciting and liberating for everyone. Along with that, I've recently withdrawn my thirteen year old son from public school, and started homeschooling him through the method of Unschooling. I have a five year old daughter I'm hoping to homeschool all the way through 12th grade. In addition, we live in a scenic mountain community, which gives me plenty to share through photos, plus I keep a small flock of chickens (one of the best hobbies imaginable). We always have creative projects going on around our property, and we hope to start growing some of our own food next Spring. My husband and I practice meditation, and are deeply devoted to our spiritual life, so everything we do and experience centers around that. There isn't one encounter or life experience that isn't sacred- everything is a gift and blessing, meant to guide us to a higher state of awareness, wisdom, and love.

I look forward to sharing openly again; there is an abundance to write about, and several weights have been lifted off my heart and mind, so I've no excuse to step away from writing. Let the therapy begin!