Children + Meditation = Tools for Happiness & Success

I'm so happy to see public schools discovering the importance of meditation. I recently read an online article about how meditation has transformed some of the roughest San Francisco schools, and I felt inspired to chime in about children and meditation. The schools in San Francisco call it "Quiet Time" and it's practiced twice daily at the sound of a gong. In one school, they began meditation in 2007 and it has since created light years of progress for the students. It's had a major impact upon behaviors, academics, and even their overall attitude. Several other schools adopted the practice, and are seeing similar results. It all makes sense to me, considering how much daily meditation has impacted my own life for over two decades. I don't think I could function without it. There have been many scientific studies finding that meditation literally rewires the brain. It doesn't just give you a sense of peace because you slow down and relax, it increases a stronger sense of self, improves memory, decreases depression and stress, increases awareness, as well as many other cognitive and psychological benefits that remain with you throughout the day.

Andrew and Sosena meditating with Dad in 2010

My teenage son, Andrew, has severe ADHD. I would even go so far as calling it a "profound" case of ADHD. He has a difficult time controlling his impulses, and many times his brain is so disorganized he cannot carry on a conversation without confusing people. He's constantly diverted from tasks, and very forgetful. On top of that he's always on the go, rarely still, constantly talking, and has to be reminded to slow down. My point is, you'd never think Andrew would be capable of sitting down long enough to meditate. It's important that parents never assume it's not possible due to hyperactivity. If anything, those are probably the kids who benefit most from meditation.

We started young with Andrew. Most importantly, he was exposed to seeing us meditate, noticing the benefits, and we answered his questions. Remember, kids will never learn a skill from you that you don't already have. Kids are curious, so Andrew wanted to try what we were doing. In the beginning we gave him headphones with meditation recordings and an eye mask to minimize distractions. Again, he wanted to do this, it wasn't forced. He always sat upright in a chair, or on the floor cross-legged so as not to fall asleep. Sometimes he sang chants with us, followed by short periods of silent meditation together. It wasn't long before we brought him to a group meditation, probably around age ten or eleven, and he sat in complete silence and stillness for around 30-40 minutes at a time. The group environment really helps kids and adults to behave in longer meditations. I see it as a communion of consciousness, and each person is supporting the other in invisible ways. To this day, Andrew is able to sit in meditation for 45 minute periods with our local meditation group, and he's more still and focused than most adults would be. Of course, it's not necessary to meditate that long to reap many of the benefits (45 minutes is a very long time for a kid), so if your child can only do five or ten minutes, that's great. And like I said, for kids it really helps in the beginning to make it as fun as possible by using headphones and guided meditations. Sometimes it was spoken relaxation recordings, and other times it was special music that helped calm our son down. He really loved sitting with us in meditation the most. After meditating, our son always seems more calm, focused, centered, happy and confident. At age 14, we are now working at getting him to consider his own, private meditation routine at home. If he can get there, I believe he's really destined for a happy and successful life. Now, onto our youngest..

I like to join little ones at their level. Very young kids don't need to be taught to meditate, they need to see their parents practicing it. I can sit calmly, eyes closed, in stressed moments so that my youngest (age 5) can see how I'm handling things. Sometimes she asks Dad where I am, and he answers, "She's in her room meditating." Our daughter knows it's a requirement in life. If our daughter is having a busy or uneasy moment, I go into her space and ask if she'd like to sit quietly 'with me.' I ask her kindly to stop talking, we sit on the floor or her soft bed, and we face each other. I close my eyes, then she closes hers. I take deep breaths, and she always follows what I'm doing. Of course, she peeks at me, but she gets some quiet time to absorb the basic essence of meditation. The calming act of slowing down and going inward, no matter how briefly, is beneficial to her. With her, it only lasts a minute or two, but it always leaves her much improved (and me, too!) Meditation should be a way of life every bit as much as eating, sleeping, waking, dressing, and everything else we believe is essential to living. I can't stress enough how important it is for both adults and children, and to never underestimate a child's ability to slow down and go within. They just need to see us modeling it in our own lives. Parents, teachers, schools- "Quiet Time" has transformative power we've barely even begun to tap into as a culture.

Resources:

Stillness meets Science Audio recordings we've used, and have been effective for ourselves and our children (Free 20 minute demos available):
Harmonic Resonance Meditation, One of the first recordings used with our son
Heartwave Meditation, Powerful catalyst for opening and clearing the heart center
Energy Alchemy Series, This is my personal favorite due to the "Anahata" portion. It's very transcendental - Click next to each CD in the bundle to find a sample link. You just cannot feel fear or anxiety with these sounds, and it opens the heart

Useful information:
Meditating With Children, SRF Magazine, detailed article you can print
Teaching Meditation to Children, Yoga Journal
Teaching Children Meditation, a blog and video course
Guided Meditation for Children, YouTube with Dr. Tyler, ages 5-9
Meditation for Children, Sarah Wood, all ages